Renee (Me): aka 'Hot Mama,' aka 'The Elk': Slightly neurotic, over educated, pain in the ass bitch on a quest to conquer evil in the universe. Bonne Chance!
Big Daddy: The man who's been rocking my world since I was only 17. Yikes! Fortunately, for him, the statute of limitations has run out on that statutory rape charge.
The 4 Beautiful Babies I Pushed Out of my Cooch and Who Share My Mitochondrial DNA:
1. Miss B: aka 'The Mole Sniper': The oldest of the Irish twins. She'll only be a teenager for another 2 years. Gasp! Born with the uncanny ability to keep perfectly still, which enables her to hide in plain sight. Blind as a bat without her contacts. This girl was also born to argue and is more stubborn than a Missouri mule. I have no idea where she gets it from.
2. Pedro: aka 'Cap'n Hindsight:' Youngest of the Irish twins. The maestro of the sarcastic smart-ass quip that always ends with "I told you so." Tormentor of all. He is purposefully and always politically incorrect. Great midfielder too, just like his mama.
3. Pablo: aka 'The General': Suffers from chronic middle child syndrome. His abilities include, but are not limited to, the ability to stealthily sneak in and out of any room without being noticed. He is also my most gifted fibber. He'll be an awesome used car salesman someday.
4. Super Miss G: aka 'Law School Surprise': Baby of the family with self-proclaimed superhero origins (see postings on Super Miss G v. Lady Gaga). Mistress of the 'I know I am the baby therefore I get whatever I want,' school of effective manipulation. And she is extra cute.
